What can I say having a head whizzing around day today. Mind keeps whirring away over nothing. Didn't even want to take the 'dog' out today but I did, legs went to jelly, body tensed up and head felt so spaced out......... am having one of my more than normal anxious days grrr. It started 13 years ago when my marriage came to a very horrible conclusion and Ive never been right since hehe. I often make a joke of it but its been a real struggle at times, once upon a time I couldn't even go to the shops or eat properly. I never became housebound but life took on a different meaning, everything had to be planned meticulously and I had to be in control of everything. I had to write endless lists telling myself what jobs to do and be super duper organised and trying to be "Mrs Perfect". I know now that there is no such thing though I do still try and have perhaps an unhealthy obsession with cleaning! Looking back now I can understand how it all happened, my relationship had taken a bit of a turn for the worse and I was subject to mental and physical abuse, some awful things happened which I have just written about and deleted, maybe one day I will be able to write about it! But hey its not all doom and gloom we all got over it, sons have a good relationship with their Dad and I built a new life (we had to run away I'll put that much), have a wonderful partner and 2 well adjusted sons (well I hope they r hehe) and a very odd dog oh and a stupid heart condition !!!
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